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Showing posts from 2006

Mann

happiness he said was not subjective. I did not really understand and then he said,"Its like being in love. You just know when you are in love. You need not be told or reminded about it. You can just feel it. You just know it." anybody who has ever fallen in love would understand it or like me, anybody has been loved deeply can understand it. being loved is more basic need. thats the way we humans are. selfish. i dnt knw why all the time i was with him i kept smiling from ear to ear. nitin bhaiya's aura must have something to do with it. his voice, his presence, the way he would stop in between while talking about his Guru ji as if to sample the moment once again before letting it go...everything that he spoke about, the sheer intelligence of the conversation appealed to me. i could give that basic course a shot. all that i did not understand which no one has yet been able to explain to me is the mann and where is it situated, when does it come into action, when do yo

Educate

The importance of getting a decent education had dawned on me not very early in life. I should not be saying this because I do not consider myself any different or special or blessed in a special way from the rest of the human species. That one notion broke long time back when someone explained the concept of deja vu to me, else I would have gone on to believe in my special powers. Well too many Naagraj and Pahntom contributed to the notion. Getting back to education, ah, I realised the importance of being educated when I stepped out of my hometown into the big world of larger cities; where there were people whom I did not know. The only thing that I ever knew since I embarked upon mission 'live life' was that I wanted to be heard. I wanted my opinion to be known. I realised that nobody would hear me if I did not learn the language of the big world. The journey was of course eventful. I educated myself. I taught myself to speak smart and work smart (or so I thought until I emb

old mails

they bring you immense pleasure. fond memories. i always keep store all the mails that my sister posts me. they are the ones that freshen up my days. they are full of her life that I miss so much of. they are generally about her college, cultural fests, crushes, clothes and even our parents. there is a bunch that is full of advice on how to handle my four-burner gas efficiently to dealing with my married status. there are some other mails from my double maa. Gogu maamaa's mails are puns in prose. my fav is the one that he sent me couple of days before i was to get my first salary ever. he wrote Hope this finds you as thick( FAT) as you were when you last fell on me and broke my crown and you came tumbling after. Tomorrow is the greatest day in your life when you will receive your first pay RACKET. “ Maan ; teri beti ki mehnat ki pehli kamai .”Anyway the idea is to give you a fair idea as to what to do with with the the HOT MILLIONS you will now on be making month after month. Beta

the list

I am absolutely impressed with myself these days. And it just not ends with my culinary skills, that rather is the starting point. Ok so what all else is there on my list of being impressed about a. I love the way my quarter has turned into home b. I have got Sachin into the habit of not hanging clothes behind doors..well almost c. Have got him to put his shoes back in the cupboard and socks in the wash basket d. I own a Hidesign bag worth big bucks without having pestered him e. The haircut- I finally chopped off the tresses on which I had spent bottles of hair oil, shampoo and conditioner f. I have also thrown away all the white, ancient kurtas- courtsey my sis. To begin with I was not keen on throwing away old stuff. My reason- nostalgia. My sister's- a previous birth link with some kabadi g. I can listen to all the cribbing around me with a little extra dose of patience I wanted to take the list till J but to begin with itna hi kaafi hai. Now about things on my to-do list a. ma

crib

mere sapnon main aa ke apna mujhko bana ke mujh pe tu kar ehsaan ...but if you want a favour only then why not ask her to walk into your life rather than just dreams..... today i realised that all my cribbing about how bad my univ days were was part of a crib fest and nothing more. the realisation came just like that..while we were having lunch awwwwwwwwmummmmmmmyyyyyy i wanna go home...i waannaa go home..i wanna learn to drive......i wanna have babies...wanna loose weight overnight.......wanna pen a book.....wanna buy a diamond necklace for mommy

Teachers

I would be lying if I said I had been sceptical of going back to the department. I never wanted to go there. But I went. Why? I really don't know. May be I was simply greedy to know whether my teachers remembered and recognised me or not, but I cant be sure of this reason. Anyway I decided in the favour of going. The signs were good. The weather cleared and it became sunny. By the time I reached there classes were over and I got to meet the teachers. They recognised me but that was not what I felt a gush of relief about. Rather the new building was what I felt proud of. I also realised that anyone who dissociates himself/ herself from the dept for any reason at all is purely lying or seeks attention, which they never got while they were there.

Recasting

Bui is strange. She cribs a lot. May be that is why she has not had a lot of success with Buaiji. Seeing them I realise the importance of owning a home. In the dusk of their lives and not a place to call their own..hmmm.... I would want to go back to Palampur and stay there but well I would want my own home. I know the construction work is very demanding but I would want sensibly put up rooms and ah!! to have the finances/ resources to do it up in my own way.....the vision is beautiful. I have had this dream since I was a kid, a home that has beautiful beadspreads and rugs all around it. A home that is sprinkled with photos in wooden frames, wooden furniture and quilts and books and magazines. How can any dream be complete without my beloved books. I have begin reading once again. This time authors that I haven't ever read or have appreciated from the wayside. Have picked up Mrinal Pande to begin with. Daughter's Daughter smells of mama's childhood. I want her to read it.

Yatra

It all had begun with a telecon. I was asked to suggest ways with which to make female readers feel more connected to a certain daily paper. No one ever told me what happened about my esteemed views but I got a call to attend an all women's journo's conclave in Bhopal. As a rule I detest all kinds of congregations and gatherings, where I am on unfamiliar grounds or among half-baked acquaintences- that too women. But as anyone might guess that I would not have been writing this piece had I been able to get myself out of the situation. On a not-so-hot afternoon, thanks to my travelling companions, we managed to miss teh bus that was to take us to Delhi. Anyhow we loaded the luggage and selces on to a taxi and headed out of the city. Though we reached the railway station an hour before the train's scheduled time yet boarded the wrong compartment owing to the fact that the woman who guided us to our seats was looking at the return ticket rather than the current. And then, when

identity

I have come across so many people wanting to create an identity that it has suddenly made me wonder why haven't I ever pined for one or are they suffering from an identity crisis. I consider my name as the part of identity, the face with which the people recognise me- part of my identity, my work a larger part of my id. I assume that all the other people also have been blessed with similar stuff then why are they clamouring to carve identities. Am I being presumptuous?

Grrrrrrrrr

I was shocked when my sister made me realise that I had married young. I was 23 when I got engaged and now at 25 I am a year-and-a-half into the institution of marriage. Though I don't have much to complain about, there is stuff that I wish I had done before getting married. Learning to take care of my transportation needs and saving myself from the IT department are the most important things under this list. Though my husband is a gentleman, and that does not mean he does not growl and shout, he makes sure that I am reminded of the favours everyday and as a favour-in-return I have to cook......urrrrrgggghhhhhhhh...I hate going inside a kitchen even to get a glass of water.  Though a few months back I had started to believe that I had come around to all this cooking stuff when somebody from the in-laws' side praised a dish thrown together in a jiffy. That was the only time when I had logged on to the net to find out a new recipe for Paneer Lababdar. But the fact that kasoori me