Friday, December 31, 2010

of new years

i love those times in a year when one can freely look back, sum up things and get retrospective. birthdays are one such occasion and the other one is the year enders. like this one.
this year for me has been one that brought with it the joys of seeing netra turn in to a chatter box-motor-mouth kid who actually started to behave her age and the naughtiness quotient touched new heights. it has been remarkable in terms of the new things that netra has brought home in the form of never-ever-heard-before nursery rhymes and songs. and we are thankful for them because i can cope with them better than the cockroaches and big black ants, dead and at times alive, that she would often bring like the prized catch.
the year has been a good one in terms of work as well. freelanced (still to get paid but what the heck) i hv managed to loose the grumpiness somewhat. managed an outing. a break from the usual suspects. watch a few movies that i had been wanting to see for a while (x-men origins: wolverine. started gym which has been a boon when i have been able to keep up with it. most importantly felt a little less stressed and that has shown in a positive way as i am not enetring the new year coughing and wheezing.
on the downside though netra was beginning to get this asthamatic thing but with the help of a visit to PGI i think we have managed to rope it in.
made a new friend, got in touch with a couple of old ones. spoke to joycee for the first time after leaving dilli. she has been blessed with a girl. the gang- all of us have daughters with shagufta leading the pack.
samiha, netra, raga, jiya! all adding joy to our lives.

so as this year ends on a high note, lets just hope that the coming year brings in health, happiness, energy and all things good in its tow. cheers!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

what women need?

something's gotta be wrong with me. i have somehow lost the ability to do what i want to, say what i mean, thankfully i still mean what i say (well, almost, ummm...largely).
why? i have often asked myself. the answer is not too direct or clear. but it borders around the fact that i have been brought up to believe that if you do anything putting your'self' first you are selfish and you know, being selfish is not a good thing.
but of late i have realised that though certain things have stood the test of time hold good even today as they would in 'satyug'. there are things that have changed dramatically. now to teach a child to put herself at the bottom is to take away a lot from her. to train her for a lifetime to put herself and her needs on the backburner. and i dnt think that is fair.
mothers and grandmothers are a classic example of this. looking after their families' every need they drive their minds and bodies to a great extent forgetting in turn that they also need to nourish their own bodies and selves.i don't have anything against being considerate but i am all for making a case for women to learn to look after themselves and if need be put their needs first.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

dinner guests

would like to invite Jane Austen, my aunty Mrs Misri, a friend Tenzin nangsyal and ace choreographer-cum-director Farah khan. Jane Austen the English novelist whose romantic fiction are social commentaries laced with biting criticism. What attracts me to Jane Austen are the plots of her work which are comic in nature but highlight the dependence of women on marriage to secure a social standing. This interesting a phase in a girl’s life is something that I have been through. The importance of getting married to the right guy of some social standing can not be undermined in today’s educated society even.
The love for Jane Austen is something that I share with my other two guests Misri aunty and Tenzi as my friend is fondly called. The importance of marriage and hooking the right guy in the times of Austen, youth of Mrs Misri and the Tibetan society will become a great topic for conversation. Farha Khan who married quite late as per Indian standards and did so on her own terms as in marrying a younger and lesser established man would, I am sure, throw in interesting opinions and facts.
Also the kind of personalities all these amazing women have will sure make the evening much more fun. Discussion on societal norms, how they vary for men and women, what was it like in 18th century England, 20th century India and the traditional Tibetan society will make for an interesting mélange. The topic of going out to dance which was a must know-how in the English society of the 18th century is sure to come up. Here we would have lot of inputs from Ms Austen who can probably give tips on the etiquettes of ballroom dancing and look up to Farah for teaching us three non-dancers to shake our hips. Tenzi will enlighten us on about the norms of a society that is not really known to us. Mrs Misri who hails from Kashmir and has spent her childhood and youth there will definitely have a lot to contribute here as well. She who has read every single piece by Austen will definitely keep the conversation going on about those days and her motivation.
I would like to invite Jane Austen, my aunty Mrs Misri, a friend Tenzin nangsyal and ace choreographer-cum-director Farah khan. Jane Austen the English novelist whose romantic fiction are social commentaries laced with biting criticism. What attracts me to Jane Austen are the plots of her work which are comic in nature but highlight the dependence of women on marriage to secure a social standing. This interesting a phase in a girl’s life is something that I have been through. The importance of getting married to the right guy of some social standing can not be undermined in today’s educated society even.
The love for Jane Austen is something that I share with my other two guests Misri aunty and Tenzi as my friend is fondly called. The importance of marriage and hooking the right guy in the times of Austen, youth of Mrs Misri and the Tibetan society will become a great topic for conversation. Farha Khan who married quite late as per Indian standards and did so on her own terms as in marrying a younger and lesser established man would, I am sure, throw in interesting opinions and facts.
Also the kind of personalities all these amazing women have will sure make the evening much more fun. Discussion on societal norms, how they vary for men and women, what was it like in 18th century England, 20th century India and the traditional Tibetan society will make for an interesting mélange. The topic of going out to dance which was a must know-how in the English society of the 18th century is sure to come up. Here we would have lot of inputs from Ms Austen who can probably give tips on the etiquettes of ballroom dancing and look up to Farah for teaching us three non-dancers to shake our hips. Tenzi will enlighten us on about the norms of a society that is not really known to us. Mrs Misri who hails from Kashmir and has spent her childhood and youth there will definitely have a lot to contribute here as well. She who has read every single piece by Austen will definitely keep the conversation going on about those days and her motivation.
and then i got bored of writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

creative thought

If you could host a dinner party and invite any four people, either living or dead, whom would you invite and what would the five of you discuss together? There is no right answer concerning the dinner guests; rather, we want you to be creative and thoughtful in your response. Space is limited to 4000 characters.

found this in my mail, my sis who has cleared GMAT and taken IELTS needs an answer to this question which has been asked by some varsity she is applying to. she had hired some agency, whom she refers to 'people' to write her applications. she (i presume)paid them a whooping amount and is broke now. i wonder who is going to buy her ticket to wherever she gets admission and who is going to pay for her fees, boarding and lodging.

i hate the idea of foreign lands so i am not an option that she probably has. my sisterly love also bars me from helping her fly far far away from where it won't be possible to see her without the aid of Internet or know that she is alright.

but knowing that i am a creative genius (a fool with my money) she mailed me the query. now the bubbly creative juices are all set to spill when i suddenly realise that this way too i will be helping her in her efforts of flying off. but what to do...she challanges me. the subject line of the mail read--- any creative thoughts on this??

i guess i will have to spill my creativity onto a new word file and email her the answer which will get her through to some stupid college which will teach her to become smarter than she already is.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Bad mum

I often get a feeling that i am the worst mum. the word ma is generally associated with qualities which somehow read patience, wisdom, calm, so on and so forth. i dnt think i have any one of these. there are many more in my head which i knw are nt my strengths but when i look at the mother bit in me, these three are the prominent ones i find missing in myself.

chunnu has become a motormouth and so naughty. largely all that she dooes brings on a smile. but there are days, hours and minutes, very often some looong seconds as well when her incessant chatr-patar nudges me to launch into tirades. things that i knw make no sense to her but often bring on a hurtful expression on her face. then i berate myself for being such a looser. for shouting at her. for running out of patience. for not knowing or not conjuring up a better way to deal with her. for not being calmer, warmer and wiser.for being the worst possible mother. for not loving her enough (maybe!)

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

nutan aunty

i am not educated about music but know my sargam and the 7 'sur'. i love Hindi filmy songs. there is not one emotion that they do not express. we have songs celebrating love, happiness, parting, sadness, birth, death, mother-in-laws, hardwork, nature, nanha-munnas and what not.

i have been brought up on a healthy dose of filmy songs from the 50s, 60s and 70s. having done my growing up in the 80s and 90s, i still had the time in life to pop in an audio cassette into the player and loose myself to the melody.

i dnt know how and from where did i get the silly notion that with age i would have to restrict my choice of songs, meaning thereby that i could not show happiness on a groovy number. an aunty in pune- a mother of two grown-up girls showed me the way out of this idiotice notion, when she regaled me with completely hysterical and non-sensical songs of Salman Khan starrer Judwa.(if u hv heard unchi hai building and tan tana tan tan tan tara, you wud knw wat i mean)

i still love my rafi and sd/ rd burman numbers but i also love sheila ki jawani with the same gusto. as i and chunnu tap our feet and try to copy (unsuccesfully)sheila's moves i am thankful to nutan (i think that was her name)aunty for helping me break free

musings

i am not in love with you
neither are you, i am told
we are just bored and hence the attraction
but then i dnt knw why
i look at my phone a thousand times to see if you have dropped a message
a call that i might have missed
despite keeping it by my side all the while

at nights i lie awake thinking
what could have that meant
that which you said while i was being a little inattentive
i prod myself to discover meanings, in unsaid words
i wait for you at places
where there isn't a chance for you to show up

you surprise me, i laugh the ring of which i like a lot
you make me nervous, i check my reflection in the mirror
and i smile

i fall short of words in your presence
a sigh is all that can escape from my heavy heart
poor thing knows that we are just bored of our own lives
and hence the attraction

Monday, March 22, 2010

It's a daughter thing


An SMS in the morning tells me this week is being celebrated as Daughter Week. First of all the sweet message:

Daughters are the most precious of our treasures, the dearest possessions of our homes and the objects of our most watchful love.

Being a daughter did not really do a lot for my understanding as having one did. If Gods would not have had their way, I would have been blessed with two and would have been much better off.
Having a daughter is a grace. They fill your days with their warmth. They snuggle up to you even when you are not at your cuddly best and even the most loving husbands would not want to hug you. Just open your arms to the daughter and she will tumble in to them, if you are lucky enough you might even get a few wet and sloppy kisses. My daughter, when she is flooded with love for me, creeps from behind and puts her arms around my neck or my legs whatever is easily accessible to her and there is no other thing in the world to compare it with.
Being a daughter I have often sensed what my mother may not have spoken out. I want to give her the world. My mother, who is twice blessed as in having my sister and me, must have had tough times. In fact, she still has bad patches, ROUGH, if I may say. All our life we have blamed her for anything that has gone wrong in our lives. She has been giving it back to us in equal measures. We fight with her, we shop for her more than she shops for herself, we worry about her, and I am looking forward to Chunna’s growing up years with a lil bit of spice and much of sugar. I hope we have lots of fun and in the meantime help her be a nice person.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Lets do more than a tweet


I was yesterday informed via an e-mail that tomorrow is the world house sparrow day. I was instantly reminded about the chirp chirp- a common melody of my childhood. I was also reminded of the fact that the chirp chirp has almost gone missing from the background of our days. Besides on twitter, I haven’t even sighted the small little bird in ages.
Then one incident of a few months back came to my mind. I am still trying to recollect but can’t figure out where was it that I saw the bird, but I do remember that the little bird had had a bath and was shaking off excess water. It was actually a picture perfect moment and somewhere else it would have made to nat geo or maybe animal planet.
We all know that the microwave pollution from mobile phone towers has been a reason behind the disappearance of the Gauraiya but not many know that glass and concrete buildings that have been coming up in the name of modernization have taken away from the bird its habitat.
World House Sparrow Day also celebrates the common biodiversity found in and around us and draws attention to its importance. So make 20 March 2010 a day to celebrate the common birds and biodiversity around you and raise a toast to the House Sparrow.
In an attempt to do something about the sparrow I have asked a reporter friend to do a story. Given him print outs on the bird, phone numbers of activists and even some one-liners. I hope some people through his article and some more through this write-up will begin to wonder and set out a sparrow feeder with grain and a bowl of water and maintain it beginning from tomorrow. Some intelligent being from some school/college ecology club will make presentations on why we need the House Sparrow, the dangers it is facing and how each of you can help. Put up feeders and nesting boxes. Twitter it, put it on fb or whatever you call my space.

The theme for WHSD 2010 is, We will save our House Sparrows. And by good lord Lets do it!
(suggestions courtesy: http://www.worldhousesparrowday.org/)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Bloated not so new me

I have piled on more kgs then I should have and to get rid of them is beginning to get a daunting task. Oh well it hasn't begun at all. I know that I should start and step up my exercise regime but I dnt seem to get started. Everyday and I mean everyday I intend my self to get up in the morning and start something- skipping rope, going for a walk, play bedminton but I fail. Hopelessly.

My knees have begun to hurt. My chest gets knotty when I have walked a few steps fast. Breathing becomes laboured. I have no stamina left. Have totally let go of self-restraint and control (freedom can be dangerous).

I miss my mother's constant nagging about my weight. At least that kept me on my toes. I read every article on weight-loss and even put many tips to use.

Today, sadly, I have no one to blame for my big paunch and a heavy bum but my habit of munching. In recent past I have thrown caution to wind when it comes to fatty, fried or sweet. In an attempt to counter my calorie intake I had tried to develop a habit for sugar-free tea but that also remains restricted till the office. My poor mathematics can also be blamed for being unable to keep a track or clue abt my intake and its value in kilojoules and then grams

There is no physical activity happening during my entire day. My failed plans include:
To utilise my lunch break and go to the garden next to my office for walks

To re-start my morning game of bediminton, but can't get myself out of the bed at 6 am

I think I need serious help here. But that would also take effort! Now who would get up and make that one?
To go for a walk after I return from work

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

to table the time

no new posts in the new year. so decided that i will write something. completed 28 years on planet earth and hope for some more. all that i have seen and heard has been pretty good. everyday some or the other thing makes me realise how blessed my life is and that i am lucky, very very lucky indeed.

life is getting tougher by the day and the way my parents have prepared me, the upbringing they have given me goes a substantial way in dealing with the challanges that i face.

on the work front i would rate my performance satisfactory. there are still many things that i wish i had been able to adopt or learn and ingrain in to myself. the most important being discipline. my mother has always been teeling me to make timetables and follow them. and i had till very late not seen trhe point in time-tables and following them.

being an aquarian, anything that happens to hint at binding me, scares me. and so so the timetables. but now i know that it is easier and in my own best interest to draw a time table nad follow it religiously.

i will make one and i know i will have to get out of my body to order my brain to jump in to action. when will that happen? now does the answer to that lie in a time table or will it take anotehr birthday to remind me that i had once promised myself to write regularly for the blog.