Sunday, September 29, 2013

Gear up, you are getting married!

As your wedding day approaches and all the conversations steer towards it, I am thinking about the time I was in the same spot. Now I have been married for about 7 years, so I have the right to tell you a few things about this whole affair. I hope some of it you will laugh off and the bits that you will choose to remember will serve you well.

I don't know your fiancé so I cant say whether you are marrying the man of your dreams or you are taking on the challenge of starting your life with a boy. Either ways I hope that in life you both will grow into a man and a woman who love, cherish and most importantly respect each other. I hope and pray that you both help each other in becoming the best version of yourselves and do not spend days rather a moment berating each other, recounting qualities you wish he had and virtues he admires in other women around.

I hope in this marriage you find a friend, an ally.Someone you can reach out for solace and hugs; for holding hands; who splurges on you but who also gives you his unadulterated opinion. I hope he will be able to look after you and nurse you too during bad patches.

I hope he can see and then show you the lovely girl you are when you forget it.
I hope he can make you believe in dreams and foster enough faith to share some of yours and tell you some of his.

I wish that when the 'marriage' takes over the 'me' in you, you are able to recognise that giving up some of your personal ambitions can bring joy and peace too.

May you find love and give love generously. In marrying this guy may you be able to find many new meanings.

But also remember marriage is a lot of work. Most of it is hard work.

The lights that are brightening your every waking moment now and the background music that fills your heart with a sweet melody every time you two look at each other at the moment will dim.

The routine will take over and there will chores and responsibilities.

At times the sink full of dirty dishes to greet you when you come back after a hard day at work, wet towel and pile of clothes on the bed as you get ready to leave in the morning, complaints about your cooking (or anything else and at times everything), during those times I hope you will be able to keep your calm and wade through.

Don't ever get into bickering. Nag if you must but don't bicker.

Last but not the least, in our country and familial set-ups marriage is a woman's job and its a 24x7x365x whatever minutes and seconds are there in a day job. So welcome to the club. Gear up and get ready to give as good as it gets!

Lots of Love
Bobi