Sorry no Sari

If you have grown up in a typical north Indian household like me then you would have seen women around you wearing suits. Not just the business kinds but the three piece garment consisting of a kameez/ kurta, a dupatta and a churidar/a salwar.

Getting the cloth, going to a tailor ( over and over again) and getting the material designed and stitched has always occupied a major position there because those are, like I said, the everyday clothes worn by women all around, from my mother to the house help. They are worn to the functions- birthday parties, kitties and kirtans. Bollywood even sang a song to the suit wearing girl. But there is this one occasion where there isn't a chance for the suits or for any other garment to make an appearance.

These are the shaadis, the weddings, the marriages where the silks, the pochampallys, the kanjivarams, the banarsis- read the heavy guns- put in an appearance like a chief guest at some sarkari function who soon after the initial formalities leaves the podium and the hall and the function.

It is not very difficult to imagine who, or rather what, rules the roost here- tadaaa- the SARI. The season of marriages is like the wake up call for getting all the sarees that have been lying ignored until then sunned and dry-cleaned, blouses redesigned and jewellry matched et al

This six yards [or is it the 9 yards!] has a reputation that it can turn a goof like me into looking like a charming, graceful lady. This should ideally be a good thing had I liked the idea of wrapping so much cloth around my girth. Or maybe if I could do so with elan. (The last time I decided to wear a sari for my friend's kid's birthday party, people mistook it for an evening gown.) Or better still, if I had any interest in getting draped in it because it made me look good.

Somehow in the recent past the internet has almost burst with sari love. My friend Shagufta added me to a group of sari lovers on Facebook and I have no qualms in admitting that I spent hours ogling at the beautiful prints, weaves, embroideries and drapes. I oohed and aahed at women who wrote stories, posts and articles about how their love for the Indian heritage via the sari had been reignited and how now they were wearing it through the day- at hectic jobs, PTMs, shopping sprees and board meetings- while facebooking their cupboards, blouses and sari of the day. Saris had suddenly come out of the closet, you would think.

I was moved by this whole love for saree but not to the extent of bringing the ones that had come as part of my trousseau some 13 years ago and wear them and click pictures with a caption saying "In a cool cotton that drapes like a dream on my way to the school to fetch my kids".

At one time I began to doubt myself about the nature of my affection towards the sari. Though I loved seeing the women on internet wear them yet I had no urge to give up on my everyday clothes and embrace the sari.

Gradually I realised that the women whose pictures I was gushing over were largely those who had seen their mothers and grandmothers in saris all through their lives. They had taken to suits (of both varieties), jeans, tops, kurtas, kurtis, pajamas, trousers, shirts, skirts, maxis, midis and minis but were now returning back to the proverbial roots. The sari formed an important part of their narrative and I didn't probably form a loving bond with the sari because I had never ever seen my grandmother wearing one or seen my own mother wear it occasionally.

I never lusted after a sari or saw one that I wanted to call mine immediately as much as I oohed and aahed over pictures on the net.

I don't know if there are other women, girls like me who do not want to wear a saree everywhere they go or better still even occasionally whatever our reasons be. There might be some who could be feeling pressured, seeing sari love blazing all around them, for keeping up with the Joneses at college parties or social gatherings. To them I would only say, please go ahead and wear a saree if you so much as feel like doing it but please don't do it just because everyone else is doing it. Do it so that it makes you feel happy and comfortable because that is the purpose of donning clothing beyond the obvious ones, right?

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