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Showing posts with the label daughter

In The Supporting Role

Today was the first time I used the salon services of Urban Clap. My beautician was a woman named T Mondol. She was of 32 years, married with a daughter aged 16 and a 5 year old son. This is her story: I ran away from my home and married the boy I loved when I was in Class 9. At 16, married for a year, I gave birth to my daughter. I knew nothing much about anything. My husband was an only son. I had an elder brother and doting parents who fended for me. I don't know why I ran away but I did and this is a fact. Maybe, I am paying for my that mistake now. My husband works as a driver and he did not make much money. My father-in-law drives a rickshaw in Sonarpur. He, my father-in-law said, I should learn something. Just in case, his son abandoned me, he added. I asked my husband to give me some money so that I could learn this work in Gariahat. He refused saying that he would earn enough to sustain the three of us. My mother-in-law was also opposed to the idea of me stepping o

A Decade of Motherhood: :Lesson 2

Raising a child might be easy for people who have either seen something similar like people with older siblings raise their offspring(s) or people who haven't sleepwalked through their lives. For me having a child for which I was responsible thoroughly has been like roller coaster ride in an adventure park. So far. (But now, with some added experience, I can vouch that nothing is going to change.)  I just got up and took a seat on the conveyor belt without knowing anything about its twists or turns; loops or or having a clue about the time frame of zero-G suspension. As much harassing as it has been for both of us- the baby and  me- I have gathered a lesson or two at every bend. I have realised that as is with the roller coaster ride so it is with the child raising phenomenon. You can't do much more once the light turns green. Yes, you can fling your arms and scream your heart out, but you can not get out of the situation, unless you count abandoning your kid. (If that be

A Decade of Motherhood: Lessons I learnt (I)

A lesson that has kept rearing its head time and again in my journey of motherhood, of which I am going to complete 10 years in a couple of months, is something that I refused to learn till the very recent times. It is a lesson that my mother wanted me to adopt as soon as my daughter started to talk, walk, and defy. In short, being an independent child.  Today, it is this lesson that I wish I had the sense to adopt the first time my mother said it out loud to me. But then who would I be if not a common-sense-defying rebel! Or on the other hand maybe this is what makes motherhood such an adventure ride- the ability to gain sense and discover things which only experience can shower upon you.  The lesson that I am talking about has been worded by so many smart and intelligent people over the ages, that I can fill up pages with their quotes, but I am going to give you two of my favourites that spell it out the best for me. "Don't worry that the children never listen

Always looking ahead

We were at a friend's house when a tiff broke between the two siblings. I offered the younger one, my daughter's friend, to hop in the car with us for a sleepover. She did that delighted to get away from the bigger sister. My friend gulped hard. She asked her over and over again if she was sure she wanted to go away for the night. She cajoled her then threatened her then tried bit bribing and lastly entreated her to change her mind. But she wouldn't be cajoled, threatened, bribed or entreated. Her mind was made up and she came with us. I don't think my friend slept a wink that night. Whereas the child played to her heart's content and fell soundly asleep having tired all her faculties nicely. And this is what brought home a fact that life looks ahead. It knows only to move in forward gear. The woman might have worried about x number if things concerning her daughter but the child wasn't about one.

A love letter

Dear Dear Netra, I am writing this to you in the hope that it will bear witness to the immense love I feel for you but am not probably good at expressing. I don't love you like Papa does. For me you are not the perfect child as you are for him. I don't kiss you and smell you and hug you when you sleep like he does. I don't buy you everything that you put your finger on and I don't cry when you bruise your knees, arms, nose or cheeks. So what is my love all about? For beginners let me tell you that you hold the key to my soul. You are my very 'jaan', just like the 'jaan' that the magician had put in the parrot. You are my that parrot. I like any mother want you to turn out perfect. This roots from the fact that I can't and won't be able to bear anyone point a finger at you or raise their voice ever at you. This privilege lies with me exclusively. Your father also doesn't share it. This is not the perfect way to love but this is the on

So that I may not forget again

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That I am a happy person with a cheerful disposition That listening to music always uplifts my spirit That sky gazing and deciphering the shapes of clouds is a favourite activity That I love waking up early and enjoy solitude and the house That I consider kindness as the biggest quality and honesty follows soon after That I can cry at the mere mention of certain things but that is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about That I believe in life, resilience, hard work and laughter. Ah! also hugs. That I may need to have some more self confidence in my abilities from time to time but I often know better than what I give myself credit for. That I believe that no relationship is a waste of time and utna hi upkaar samajh, koi jitna saath nibha de. That going the extra mile is fun because it is not crowded and you get some time to be on your own. That I believe in holding my head and standards high. That I believe in the power of prayer. That I also believe tha

Busy

I was so busy That I forgot to look at you And appreciate the strength your muscles have acquired I forgot to smile at you And extend to you the warmth that my heart feels for you I forgot to reach out to plant kisses on the scrapped knee And let you know that I am around I forgot to hold you tight before you left home And convey that I will be waiting for you to come back To see that you were waiting for me to get on with myself So that I could come back to you I was so busy But now I wonder what else I might have missed While I was too busy Did I sign the notes that your teachers sent? Did I get a hug for baking a cake for you? Did I read stories to you and sing songs? Did I win you friends with craft-work? Did I take you for the walks? I now wonder what do I have to show for all that time that I spent being busy I dread if you ever ask me to show something for being busy always I wouldn’t have anything Because I was so busy Doing nothing

Three poems

Aeroplane ------------------- I listen to their sound as they fly above me in the sky that my apartment building owns Listening hard for the noise of one that will bring you over a distance of about 3000 kms It is strange how we became friends over shared journeys Some on which I brought you along And others on which you took me with you Permission was not sought, granted or denied I smile at a certain memory here and At a shared anecdote there, as I look at the lights of the aeroplane That seem to mock at me As yet another flight has taken off some 3000 kms away and landed here Closer to me But you have chosen not to take it In that you have also chosen to stay afar, at a distance That I am unable scale Unable to reason with So that it would let me be with you In that you have chosen to go back to being a stranger And as has been between us Permission was not sought, granted or denied Netra ------------- I marvel at your small little body As you run with

It's a daughter thing

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An SMS in the morning tells me this week is being celebrated as Daughter Week. First of all the sweet message: Daughters are the most precious of our treasures, the dearest possessions of our homes and the objects of our most watchful love. Being a daughter did not really do a lot for my understanding as having one did. If Gods would not have had their way, I would have been blessed with two and would have been much better off. Having a daughter is a grace. They fill your days with their warmth. They snuggle up to you even when you are not at your cuddly best and even the most loving husbands would not want to hug you. Just open your arms to the daughter and she will tumble in to them, if you are lucky enough you might even get a few wet and sloppy kisses. My daughter, when she is flooded with love for me, creeps from behind and puts her arms around my neck or my legs whatever is easily accessible to her and there is no other thing in the world to compare it with. Being a daugh

thank you list

there are many waays to kneel and kiss the ground. i have been often told that there is so much in my life for which i should be greatful to god so i thought that today i will kneel. 1. for being born in palampur and enjoying peace, love and nature that are inherent to the surroundings of my city beautiful 2. for meeji. she is the most benevolent, caring, not-so-gentle, loving, accomplished and prettiest grandmother that ever lived on this planet 3. for my pest sister who is a shoulder i have leaned and cried on, my sounding board, and all the things that sisters are meant for 4. for all those who have taught me to read and write- teachers, parents and relatives. i would not have known the joy that comes to me while i do these things had it not for them 5.for my lovely hair- straight and black 6. for my sense of humour 7. for different people who came in my life when i needed guidance and love 8. for my well functioning body parts that have served me well for these 28